I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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