The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
