Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
