i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
