hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
