My room smells like vodka and shame
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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