Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
