So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I currently don't understand fingers.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
