party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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