Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
