so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
