I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
