This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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