ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
