it was like eating out sand paper
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
