she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
