I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
