I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
