when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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