chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize