she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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