Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
