Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
