Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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