He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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