Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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