I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
