4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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