Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My ass is underappreciated
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My bed smells like the plague
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