Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize