he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
