Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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