And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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