How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
