you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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