I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
