Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
