so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
