carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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