I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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