3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
