When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
