The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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