I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
