oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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