i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
