worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
