we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
