They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
