do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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