he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize