I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
