You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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