I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize