I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
