girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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