The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
