my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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